


4:1 Say Japan Sucks

by torigates



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 12:43:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1031832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torigates/pseuds/torigates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one wants Robin to leave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	4:1 Say Japan Sucks

 

“You can’t go to Japan,” Barney told her when there was a lull in the conversation.

They were all sitting in the booth, talking about who would win in a fight between Iron Man and Batman (“Uh, Iron Man, _obviously_ ” Barney said, though Ted put his money on Batman). The comment completely threw Robin off.

“Why not?” She asked.

“Because obviously Japan sucks,” Barney told her.

“Japan does not suck!” She said. “They’re very polite over there. And clean.”

“If you wanted polite and clean you would have stayed in Canada,” Barney rebutted.

“Ooh, lawyered!” Marshall said.

“What else do you have, Scherbatsky?” Barney asked.

“Japan has an _emperor_.”

“America has a president,” Barney countered.

“How is president better than emperor?” She asked.

“Well for one thing, the position is mostly ceremonial,” Barney said. “And for another, because I say so.”

“Oh, that is so lame,” Robin told him. “It’s not like the president has that much power.”

At that point Barney made incomprehensible noises while Ted and Marshall began to tell her the virtues of American politics. Loudly.

It took several minutes of Lily making soothing noises, and Marshall yelling, “You speak French in your country, _French_!” before they quieted down again.

“I bet people in Japan don’t yell like that,” she huffed. “They’re _polite_.”

Barney ignored her. “What else you got?”

“Japan has Mount Fuji.”

“Well we have Mount Rushmore,” Ted said. “And you don’t speak the language.”

“I don’t understand you guys, half the time,” Robin said. “And I can always learn.”

“Japan is known for its botany, Robin. Do you really want to live in a country that has miniature trees?” Marshall asked her.

“Not everyone is freaked out by small things like you, gigantor” Robin said.

Marshall looked slightly hurt. Lily put a reassuring hand on his arm. “Well, do you really want to live in a country that’s an island?” Lily asked her. “That’s just not natural.”

“I’m from Vancouver,” Robin said. They all stared at her blankly. “C’mon guys.” Nobody answered her. “Boy does the American school system suck. _It’s on the coast_. I used to go to Vancouver Island all the time.”

“Oh yeah, well the Japanese word for Japan is Nippon,” Barney told her.

“So?” She asked.

“It sounds like _nipple_!” Lily and Marshall giggled.

Robin gave them both her best ‘Seriously?’ glare. “Well Japan has better technology, better cars, I’ll be making a lot more money, and I’ll get to do real journalism.”

Everyone was quiet for a moment. “Their flag is a red dot,” Ted said after awhile.

“Nice,” Barney said. They high fived.

Robin just rolled her eyes. “Barney, you were the one who told me to go for this job in the first place.”

“That was before I knew it was in _Japan_!”

“I know that. But this is the chance I’ve been waiting for. I can’t work at Metro News One anymore. You guys made me see that. I’ve got to do something different.”

“We know,” Lily said. “We’ll just miss you.”

“I’ll miss you guys too. I won’t be gone forever.”

Nobody said anything. “They have a prime minister,” Barney said eventually. “Any country that has a prime minister is lame.”

Robin punched him.


End file.
